Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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