Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"