my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I wish you could order shots online.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.