he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know