Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
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Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I FOUND THE LEGS
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I wear drunk well.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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