every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
