you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize