don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize