matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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