all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
