He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize