This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
