I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my sisters under your porch take her home
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
This should be illegal
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this