i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
