sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
honey bunches of taint.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
