Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ladies don't puke and tell
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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