I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
