New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
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We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
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I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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