I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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