accomplished twins. life is a go
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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