Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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