Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize