She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
