I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Pants are for mortals
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
