Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
