you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
