The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize