He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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