My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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