remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We named our party play list daddy issues
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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