There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
