I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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