Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
