So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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