when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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