Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...