does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."