Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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