all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize