My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I need a beard to bite.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
