also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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