So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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