So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
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He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize