This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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