Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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