I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I smell like Dick and happiness
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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