I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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