Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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