I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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