i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
