I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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