I wannas sexs uuuuu
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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