I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
